A humorous blog about finding all of ESPN's faults. They should be embarrassed to consider themselves the 'Worldwide Leader in Sports'
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Tiger is good at golf says investigative journalist Gene Wojciechowski
Geney, as I affectionately call him, begins his article with a title no one would expect to read:
Tiger choke? He can't utter
Yesssss another article about how Tiger is the man and is the best golfer in the world! I can't wait for the insight here. I'd love to put up a picture of Gene, but I couldn't find any embarrassing looking ones and don't want to dignify his writing with a
legitimate picture. With that being said...
"Woods choke? That's like asking Albert Pujols if he knows which end of a bat to hold. If Tom Brady can remember a snap count."
Oh man I just got a little hard, but I need more:
"Choking means your mind and nerves have been tasered by the pressure of the moment. Name the last time on a golf course that Woods was overpowered by pressure, by the weight of a situation. Woods is almost always the taserer, not the taseree."
No please Wojo don't go onto your next point! Continue to wax poetic on what choking means and
how everyone else on the PGA tour are 'taserees'
"Woods shot a 1-under-par 71 in the third round and did it without a birdie on any of the par 5s. No way that happens two days in a row."
I think I just came. Geney's reasoning for why Tiger
Woods will birdie a par 5 today? HE'S DUE. Not once in this article does he provide any sort of golf analysis. There's no comment on how it heavily rained in Minnesota last night which should make the greens very slow and easy for good iron players to place the ball close to the pin. Instead the depth
of analysis he provides amounts to saying what everyone else already
knows: he's never given up
a lead after 54 holes in a major. Come on Gene, do
we need to read your 600 words of poop on this subject? You could
have tweeted the thesis of that article and given me 3 minutes of my life back.
ESPNfail was an effort started by disillusioned fans dismayed by the demise of the once-considered 'Worldwide Leader in Sports.' They were forced to go into the blogosphere to voice their displeasure. While we do not think that ESPN employs only incompetent people, we find that they cater to a lower and simpler level of sports fan. We will strive to humorously critique the network. Email us at email@example.com if you have any suggestions for stories.