Tiger is good at golf says investigative journalist Gene Wojciechowski

Geney, as I affectionately call him, begins his article with a title no one would expect to read:

Tiger choke? He can't utter

the word

Yesssss another article about how Tiger is the man and is the best golfer in the world! I can't wait for the insight here. I'd love to put up a picture of Gene, but I couldn't find any embarrassing looking ones and don't want to dignify his writing with a

legitimate picture. With that being said...

"Woods choke? That's like asking Albert Pujols if he knows which end of a bat to hold. If Tom Brady can remember a snap count."

Oh man I just got a little hard, but I need more:

"Choking means your mind and nerves have been tasered by the pressure of the moment. Name the last time on a golf course that Woods was overpowered by pressure, by the weight of a situation. Woods is almost always the taserer, not the taseree."

No please Wojo don't go onto your next point! Continue to wax poetic on what choking means and

how everyone else on the PGA tour are 'taserees'

And finally:

"Woods shot a 1-under-par 71 in the third round and did it without a birdie on any of the par 5s. No way that happens two days in a row."

I think I just came. Geney's reasoning for why Tiger

Woods will birdie a par 5 today? HE'S DUE. Not once in this article does he provide any sort of golf analysis. There's no comment on how it heavily rained in Minnesota last night which should make the greens very slow and easy for good iron players to place the ball close to the pin. Instead the depth

of analysis he provides amounts to saying what everyone else already

knows: he's never given up

a lead after 54 holes in a major. Come on Gene, do

we need to read your 600 words of poop on this subject? You could

have tweeted the thesis of that article and given me 3 minutes of my life back.