Sweet karma

Take that Wojo, and your sad excuses for columns.

Tiger is good at golf says investigative journalist Gene Wojciechowski

Geney, as I affectionately call him, begins his article with a title no one would expect to read:

Tiger choke? He can't utter

the word

Yesssss another article about how Tiger is the man and is the best golfer in the world! I can't wait for the insight here. I'd love to put up a picture of Gene, but I couldn't find any embarrassing looking ones and don't want to dignify his writing with a

legitimate picture. With that being said...

"Woods choke? That's like asking Albert Pujols if he knows which end of a bat to hold. If Tom Brady can remember a snap count."

Oh man I just got a little hard, but I need more:

"Choking means your mind and nerves have been tasered by the pressure of the moment. Name the last time on a golf course that Woods was overpowered by pressure, by the weight of a situation. Woods is almost always the taserer, not the taseree."

No please Wojo don't go onto your next point! Continue to wax poetic on what choking means and

how everyone else on the PGA tour are 'taserees'

And finally:

"Woods shot a 1-under-par 71 in the third round and did it without a birdie on any of the par 5s. No way that happens two days in a row."

I think I just came. Geney's reasoning for why Tiger

Woods will birdie a par 5 today? HE'S DUE. Not once in this article does he provide any sort of golf analysis. There's no comment on how it heavily rained in Minnesota last night which should make the greens very slow and easy for good iron players to place the ball close to the pin. Instead the depth

of analysis he provides amounts to saying what everyone else already

knows: he's never given up

a lead after 54 holes in a major. Come on Gene, do

we need to read your 600 words of poop on this subject? You could

have tweeted the thesis of that article and given me 3 minutes of my life back.

Random notes from the week

As a follow-up to my earlier post on Ortiz, Bill Simmons happened to write a thoughtful piece on Wednesday about Ortiz and his skepticism in the steroids era in which he notes that there is no easy solution.  While I don’t agree with all of Simmons’ positions, it certainly comes across that he is discussing this issue sincerely.  I’m shocked to have commended Bill twice in my first week.

Also in response to my Ortiz post, we received this response from a reader:      

Thoroughly entertaining post, especially the Simmons refrain. I would also mention that ESPN had the ridiculous Ortiz commercial where he put on a Yankees cap a few years back with Posada. Ortiz has always been an ESPN friend, and ESPN has profited off of that friendship and Ortiz's likeness. As funny as these commercials are, when you profit off of the athletes involved, then can you really give them fair coverage? Anyway, great stuff. Keep sending the new posts my way; my capacity to check my usual rotation of websites has severely decreased since starting work.

Here's the video:

On a completely unrelated note, we are all dumber for having seen this.  Jay Harris looks like a moron.

-RW

Some food for thought...

Here’s a phrase you’ll never hear an ESPN employee say: “Michael Vick should never play in the NFL again.” The constant refrain I’ve heard since the Thursday announcement of Vick’s signing with the Eagles is that “everybody deserves a second chance.” Now, I’m all for second chances, but nobody at ESPN will ever cry foul that professional athletes seem to get second chances long before your average felon.

If Michael Vick happened to have any other profession, he’d be out of a job and bagging groceries for the rest of his life. I’m not saying that a lifetime of menial labor is a fair punishment; everybody deserves a shot at redemption. However, does anybody at ESPN really believe that professional athletes deserve preferential treatment? Can’t somebody say that these guys should be held to a higher standard because of the ridiculous money they make? I loved the headline from this Jeffri Chadiha post: “Vick swallows pride, makes smart move”. Other than the obvious question (how fucking dumb is Jeffri Chadiha?), should a columnist be reporting on how Vick had to swallow his pride to sign with Philly? You’ve got to be kidding me. I’m sure Vick was going to take whatever offer came his way with whatever “pride” he has left. ESPN is living in a world in which athletes are superhuman and can do whatever they want.

Now, I could complain about Roger Goodell betraying his “tough guy” stance, but ESPN is certainly far from helping this situation. I can’t wait for the early-October Vick E:60 exclusive. By the way, that Michael Smith-Donte Stallworth interview was absolutely spellbinding!!! Yes, let’s reward a guy who was drunk and high when he ran over somebody with a pithy E:60 interview. Give me a break.

While I might not have hired him, the Eagles believe that some good will come of this. Now that Vick does have his opportunity, I sincerely hope he makes the most of it and truly comes around. ESPN needs to hold him to the standard he deserves.

-RW

THANK SWEET 8 POUND 7 OUNCE BABY JESUS

We don't need a link for this one. Just head on over to ESPN's homepage to see Vick-related articles littered everywhere. ESPN now has a story-feeder for the entire season! They've struck journalistic oil! Future headlines to come:

Vick: 'just happy to be here'

Vick (or McGwire): 'I'm not here to talk about the past'

(by week 4): Is it Still McNabb's Team?

(by week 8 after the obligatory McNabb oblique strain): 2nd Chance Well Worth the Wait

Bill Simmons piece on how he's happy Vick got a 2nd chance, but would refuse to support the Pats signing him

Rick Reilly piece complaining about something

and by season's end: Vick Travels to Mexico to [legally] bet on Cockfighting

The 2009-2010 season just got a whole lot more interesting...